Sleep don't visit, so I choke on sun
And the days blur into one
And the backs of my eyes hum with things I've never done

Sheets are swaying from an old clothesline
Like a row of captured ghosts over old dead grass
Was never much but we made the most
Welcome home

Ships are launching from my chest
Some have names but most do not
If you find one, please let me know what piece I've lost

Heal the scars from off my back
I don't need them anymore
You can throw them out or keep them in your mason jars
I've come home

Here, beneath my lungs, I feel your thumbs press into my skin again 

nobody knows

and nobody knows how loud your heart gets 

from this far, 
but me

some nights all i want is to hear

I'm coming home.

and it's all a dream, he said

i swear i'll wake up one morning

to find your arms around me again

turn on the lights when I leave

cause you have everything you'll ever need

without me there pushing.

your eyes can still see me in the dark but

finally we are no one, together.

bookends fallen as the dust,

it gathers and rises with the smoke

of dreams.

the pages are turning too fast to read and

who i am is old and screaming.

nobody knows 

how loud and 

how endless.

Big

Across the table
my grandfather speaks of war,
nostalgic iced over streets
so symbolic in their
liberating treachery.
I feel you here,
feel your endless listening
Longing to wrap my body
along your Big
Bear
(bare)Warmth
Make you cry out with
the truth
of your own
Greatness.
So many times, days
I did really not see you
and now I have released you
from a prison
you could not perceive.
The longing makes no difference
means nothing
in the cold rain of Today,
promises of solidarity form
cold webs of walls between
while simultaneously
shattering
the frosty walls
entrapping your Big
Heavy
heart.

Reach across the Waters
and I'll finally give permission
to scream
I'll throw myself into that gaping
Perfect
Mouth
and crawl into your heart
to die
so that it may be reborn
from my ashes.

Always

What is a song

without a melody?

What is life 

without knowing that 

Death, she always comes?

Always the words,

words they swallow and 

drag me 

into the floodwaters, always

Yours.

But these words, so plentiful

can't, don't warm

your spine

these nights

They don't pour your wine

or 

chase down the

memories of light in

your hair. 

Forget what's behind, 

they say we must live for 

the Aliveness of now,

of what the future carries

But I carry you with me

never good at listening,

I'll take the past as strong a gift

as the Present into

always.

I am american Dream

To feel the sweep

of Yesterday

Such a bright day when

you laid your head against

Love, without fear.

Maybe disquiet is where

stillness breeds her 

succulent offspring, but

My womb is cold, 

I am a childless mother

of mindful infinite

Smallness.