through the looking glass

karma chameleon
or playground love?


Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
couldn't put Humpty back together again.


that's where it all started, you see...
with Humpty.


Nana's house:
brimming with brassware,
brown carpet seas,
floral embroidery, lace tapestry
then this..
coinciding, colliding
the naivety and shame
curiosity and strange, misunderstood need
if I could go back in time
I would whisper in the small, sweet ear-
the young flesh still freshly molding-
of a neverending expanse of wide open,
spread before the bare feet...
i remember playing in the sprinkler,
on top of the beloved stretched black bouyancy
despite the warnings of
the trampolice...
if only someone had warned me,
then.
that the Secret Garden probing
would birth something wild inside of me.




I dreamed about you again last night..
i was topless in your parents house,
they came home and scolded you instead.
And while I hid in the bathroom
a coward on edge
you cried to them that you didn't mean to disappoint
and I felt sick with myself



Too low to find my way
Too high to wonder why








"I don't know what you mean by 'glory,'" Alice said.
Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. "Of course you don't – till I tell you. I meant 'there's a nice knock-down argument for you!'"
"But 'glory' doesn't mean 'a nice knock-down argument,'" Alice objected.
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master – that's all."
Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again.
"They've a temper, some of them – particularly verbs, they're the proudest – adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs – however, I can manage the whole lot! Impenetrability! That's what I say!"



i hate that feeling you get
feeling forgettable.

evaporar

and when the fog finally clears,
a pretty piece of shine will spin new webs of luminescence here
the grass beneath the castles
of glittering glass, blackberry windowpanes, and smoke
soaks up the haze,
inhaling and becoming
simultaneously something that is
a sum much more than itself.

suggestion to self: skip temptations of naps more often-
keep on trudging through the thick sludge
of a day that drags souls through
mud-like prisms
of a time when every cloud had reason
and a fluff to rival homesweethome.

breakthrough
hey there, little red riding hood
i could have sworn i have already met you,
but coated in slime from the belly of the beast
left you a tad more unrecognizable
a world of restitution, cynics, and sugar addictions
ain't got nothin on you, anyway.
fallen off the path to chase butterflies;
pick poinsettas
gleaming, unfurling..
in the dark wilderness for g'ma
there is a beauty in your mistake,
and redemption belongs beyond rebellion
regardless of what tune
you're humming as you stroll along.


i knew better when i spit it out,
a new time, a new ride.
and i was surprised at my own spirit
this time.




two hours of sleep and i still woke up before my alarm,
at exactly 5:27
remembering the delicious oddities of my dreams,
catching myself mid REM drooling
and how exhilarating
not to mention refreshing
to know a time is coming,
horizon glowing/child within roaming wild
once again,
back in business.

two lost souls

swimming in a fishbowl



Can you tell?

Heaven from Hell
Blue skies from pain
A green field from a cold steel rail
A smile from a veil

Trade
Your heroes for ghosts
Hot ashes for trees
Hot air for a cool breeze
Cold comfort for change
Exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage

Wish you were here.


Running over the same old ground..
What have you found?
The same old fears.




I like listening to my neighbor's music through the walls.
But I don't like feeling like I don't have enough soul for myself.
However







I still believe in you.