Sweet September: the Things I Remember


scribbled on a cocktail napkin on September 8th

The dogs are digging for field mice and 
My tongue
is made of warm, salted caramel
I'm breathing a healthy mix of fear 
and contentment 
Like heavy-weighted chocolate,
A dark and dangerous sweetness 
Thickly filling my chest cavity, my mouth 
And spilling from my Midwest lips.


These quaint tragedies we invent,
They're crawling along my veins 
Like the cool breeze that's serenading 
My feverish skin, and
The symbolism of the wind -- 
No longer bearing fire and 
Destruction (breeds creation) -- 
Suddenly, is viciously striking...
(That invisibly sweeping movement fanning the
Carnage of heat)
Oh yes, fall is decidedly nearly here 
At last,
I'm streamlining these wispy, dreamlike 
Castle-house neighborhoods, these haunting streets,
Cradling nostalgia like a newborn and
Craving everything unspeakable.




Mutual catharsis


I remember your eyes across the tin table etchings,
the smooth burn of adulterated tea and sidecars
Lining my throat with confessions
I had yet to understand, 
Roughly loving
Together we are strangers enamored
Or
the burn of unfulfilled real potential
Maybe the scream of whiskey hills with
Head plugged into chest, 
Heartbeat rumbling like
A distant train in the 
Hawkish, sticky night.


I remember thinking,
I would wrinkle my nose for you always,
Climb you like my favorite tree
Mold my lap into a bassinet for your
Weary, well-traveled head.


With every soft-spoken "hi"
I couldn't help thinking
"I like us together",
like
Perfect home-fries with homemade
ketchup Or 
Flawless omelets with
Provincial veggies,
Like making intuitive sense,
the sensory delight of
Fat fresh-baked biscuits and 
fig-mint-gin preserves.


I remember wondering if you noticed
Me noticing
that in the midst of our reflective
Loving gazes
You would close your eyes for the
Briefest
of moments 
as if you couldn't 
adequately maneuver the 
Wide Breadth of your affection.


And the deflated mattress reminded me
That nothing supportive
Lasts without frequent maintenance, 
But perfection and expectation are
Overrated and 
Pale in comparison to the 
Tangible ferocity of 
Two body-beings pressed together like
Mutual catharsis. 


Do you remember?
The thick sex of dust and that 
indescribably spellbinding smell,
Cottonwoods or maybe Hickory
Some kind of mysterious burning leaves, 
Unseen --
And Me, pitching into your frame like
A lean-to battered by the rain,
Your shelter wrapping tight and
Filling me quietly like 
Whispered bleacher reticence.

I remember: Unspoken sharing,
Our matched longing for a stone-cabin with 
Climbing walls and a smoking chimney,
Some kind of ghostly private nest 
For a pair of bluebirds
Taking in the city lights from pre-pubescent
Hilltops. 






Wobbly


Aspens fall in the forest with a delicate
Sound that awakens me 
Each night, without fail.


I remember everything,
I remember you the most.

And where are you in this mess,

Where are you now?

Are you fighting to hold on,

as long as you are able

Until I fall away, merely

A tree dream?

Are you lacking coordination or

Nursing the remembrance, 

That unwavering Elegant Universe

The heaving breasts of our 

Sweaty Affection?

Do you see me

Watching you 

over shared coffee (with cinnamon),

Wanting to be
yours always,

something atypical but overly sweet

with a kick, like

Lover's delight or chai

with soy and malted eyes?

Where are you now?