the last ferry out


Who knows what tomorrow may bring
Maybe sunshine and maybe rain
Maybe I'll see you again and
Again we'll find whole
Or we'll start all over
Maybe spring will break open and the
winter won't take hold or
have left us broken
Maybe
Someday this old machine will
feel no pain

But tonight your thoughts evade me
I'm crawling and holding
my hands out, but you
You are walled away
Another state....of mind
Arms and chest and touch, faded
from me as skeletons
Some supposedly necessitated form of
sensory deprivation
So far and stretching longer
They say distance makes the heart grow...
stronger.
"Time heals everything"
But only love can cry and buckle, like this
Distance wrings me out and
Dries my eyes with this
Strange stiff remoteness
between us.
Skeleton me.

Seems like a long time since I've
been above you, known and loved you
You're folding need like laundry
and dodging bullets or
Keeping a safe, (close) distance like
a Ghostwriter
Playing the cards just right
Coloring inside the lines
like you promised
Half-heartedly tending the fire
Aces and evasion of solitude but
Fuck,
I know you feel beneath this
The aching bones underneath
The blood firing bullets
Waiting for some passionate
words to shatter skin and spill over
My blue translucent flesh
You must see through me,
See my need and hear me
Read my words and remember
Surely,
you must..

Still be full
of those
Surprise shooting stars,
watched in tandem
From the safety of a
sentimental trampoline,
From the wild spinning of
an oddly calming
Carousel.

Our tangled limbs,
they wrestle daily struggle
Crushing unspoken into
carpet burn
But I will not allow these sparks
to be smothered and
Fuck,
I know this was my idea but
All I want in this moment
is to be alone with you,
To climb you and clamber inside
Soften your thudding heart
and feel your pleasure tearing along my skin
like shredded scrapbooks
Or something equally meaningless
in the light of growing up and
moving on.


You've ruined me now.

Ruined, skeleton me
Flightless bird
With a wretched hopeless
heart of scalded gold.
Sell it in the pawnshop and
We'll call it a Fold,
call it
a night.

Into the muck, together
Feel free to listen
Feel free to
to stay around,
To wait it out or
Fuck,
feel free to hurdle this fence and
Take the last ferry out.