Ministry of Home Security

We are not as impressive
as we would like to think,
Make like hands and toil, tremble
over cloudy cold glasses of alcohol
Picking at fat and open
Pores like whores laid wide open
For the world to take a crack at.
Go on, take your best shot,
Cowboy.
You have no idea what I am
Really
made of.
You haven't a clue
how old I really am.
You will never know all
of what lies in this
Possession of a heart
Dirty, wretched thing.
I stare into the mirror until
Nothing but smoke breathes back,
Breaths and breasts and
Beasts of burden.
I blame my cold bath on
Your absence but really
I can only blame my own denial.

You can call the shots in the dark
when no one is watching
and you can call yourself
Less than a man for me,
But I would rather fool myself than
Let go of what I know
In these cold nights as real.
Speak not and I may
Hold it against you
But tomorrow those sockets
Will hold the safety of new eyes
and your fears will be
Nothing but
True grit to grind into
the dust of
Only loving one another.
Because that's all we have,
right?

I can feel the altitude in my stomach as the wind wraps tight around the mountains, my bed sparked in the night and colorado is coursing through my veins. All i want is for you to lie here with me, before my head explodes, before i float away.